One of my favourite songs by Christian rapper Lecrae is the song "Boasting" from his 2010 album Rehab. In it, there's a line that never fails to hit me. He says around the middle of the second verse:

I rejected his love, grace, kindness, and mercy.
Dying of thirst, yet, willing to die thirsty.

I love that line because I think it so poignantly speaks on the internal dilemma, the struggle of the unwillingness to repent.

Lately, I have been feeling the ramifications of this, and what it feels like to be spiritually parched.

I don't know what it is about our sickening human nature that makes us voluntarily (or involuntarily) reject the one thing that's good for us.

I don’t know why or even how, but I have been admittedly feeling a growing distance between me and God these past couple months.

I realised this when there was a lack of the fruit of the Spirit and a growing attitude shift towards the negative or cynical thoughts regarding people, situations or myself.

Somehow, without even realising it, I ended up in a place where I struggled to fuel myself with this life-giving water.

But He has been patient with me, this stubborn child of his, and never stopped trying to get my attention as I try to refocus.

His patience and mercy are bountiful and more than I can ever ask for.

Thank God that He doesn’t give up on his children.